No soy una persona estable.

29 Mayo, 2016 ,

Supongo que nadie lo es. O quizá sí. Eso resume cómo me siento últimamente.

Me da envidia los que parece que saben hacia dónde tienen que caminar. Pisan fuerte un día, otro, otro… Les cuadra las cosas y, cuando no, hacen que cuadre. Vidas organizadas o al menos en un caos bonito y ordenado.

Llevo días dándole vueltas a eso. A la mínima me pongo triste, pero no. Pero sí. Ains! qué difícil es intentar entenderse ¿verdad? Después de darle muuuchas vueltas (a muchas cosas sin sentido) he llegado a la conclusión de siempre: estamos aquí para ser felices. Es una frase que me digo muchas veces y al decirla en voz alta mi angustia sale un poco de la cabeza. Me deja respirar. Los pies tocan el suelo (o quizá es justo lo contrario y al decirla me permito saltar) soy una persona de extremos. O me muero de la pena por las esquinas o estornudo confeti a la mínima.

Este finde ha sido de los buenos. De los aburridamente buenos. Cuando me preguntan qué hecho la verdad es que es raro resumirlo: Nada. Comer con la familia (mmm foto de la caldereta que comimos, oh yeah!). Casa. ordenar la galería (3 bolsas de basura de comunidad ¿eh? eso no ha sido moco de pavo.) una siesta de 4 en una cama.

2016.05.28 CUMPLE ASCEN 70 BC-6

Pero sobre todo he pensado, mucho.  Elimino de mi todo lo malo: el mal rollo, la angustia, la sensación de “no llego”, el pensamiento de “tengo que”, los complejos, las envidias y todo lo que me hace gris. Yo no soy así. Soy verde, naranja y, si me apuras, amarilla. Pero no gris. Últimamente una parte de mi cabeza sólo era rencor, obsesión, rabia, ansiedad, tristeza… se acabó. Ya.

Una amiga me ha dicho que de vez en cuando siempre reseteo mi vida… y tiene toda la razón. No se trata de dejar de fumar, si no de no volver a encender un cigarro. Así que, en lugar de limpiar el vaso de todo lo que no quiero en mi vida, voy a hacerle agujeritos para que no se vuelva a llenar. La felicidad no tiene que ser un modo de vida sino un estado. Es fácil decirlo, pero ya veremos cómo llevo en el día a día. Sé que es mi culpa estar así. Que el cambio es mío y no de los demás y que soy la única responsable de mi inestabilidad, de mis logros y de cómo quiero vivir la vida. Luz para todos los que son grises. No les deseo ningún mal. No les deseo nada. Sólo luz, que ya me basto yo para organizar los colores.

RAW CONFETI BC-87

El otro día tuve un chute de los míos. De los nuestros. De las chicas Raw. El tunapokimaki estuvo riquísimo, la piña colada sentó de muerte y nuestro camarero favorito por fin ha vuelto. Intentamos hacer una foto que resumiera cómo nos sentimos cuando estamos juntas pero fue un desastre, eso sí… reir, reímos un rato. Os dejo aquí un resumen del cutre intento (Siempre hay fotos mezcladas de Rosa pero esta vez… ¡hay hasta de Marian! :)) Más fotos en galería. Feliz semana (por cierto… no es que vaya a bailar capoeira, ni que me haya escapado de un psiquiatra ¿eh? En teoría iba monísima con mis pantalones blancos pre verano y la camiseta azul de topitos… pero claaaaro, por la mañana no caí que, cuando me pusiera la camiseta de las #chicasraw iba a quedar raro raro…)

.RAW CONFETI BC-105 RAW CONFETI BC-90 RAW CONFETI BC-93 RAW CONFETI BC-91 RAW CONFETI BC-74 RAW CONFETI BC-73 RAW CONFETI BC-55 RAW CONFETI BC-60 RAW CONFETI BC-52 RAW CONFETI BC-53 RAW CONFETI BC-19 RAW CONFETI BC-4

 

 

 

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    Que vivan nuestros días de confeti y muchos colores, un besito guapa!

    P.D. Por cierto, curiosidad cumplida jajaj un placer conocerte Cabalin!

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